


Let's forget our grief

by Kjam



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Bathing/Washing, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Nipple Play, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:47:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29343804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kjam/pseuds/Kjam
Summary: "She is dead. She is dead, Tuney, and it’s my fault.”The sight of the raven-haired man, drenched from the pouring rain brings back so many repressed memories that it feels like she is being hit on the chest. Severus. Her first crush, Lilly’s best friend, wizard, freak. Severus.Snape comes to Petunia when he finds out Lilly has died, seeking forgiveness, and maybe something else, too. There is still something between them, after all these years, and maybe they can help each other in this grief?
Relationships: Petunia Evans Dursley/Severus Snape
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Let's forget our grief

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first explicit smut, so go easy on me, please. Comments and kudos are always appreciated!

“She is dead. She is dead, Tuney, and it’s my fault.”  
The sight of the raven-haired man, drenched from the pouring rain brings back so many repressed memories that it feels like she is being hit on the chest. Severus. Her first crush, Lilly’s best friend, wizard, freak. She wants to slam the door in his face, but something stops her. Maybe it’s the fact that he finally came to her, not Lilly, or maybe it’s because he is crying, and she has never, ever seen him cry, so she opens the door wide.  
“Come on in Severus, or you will catch a cold in this terrible rain.”  
Thank God Vernon is away on a business trip to London, otherwise, she has no idea how she would explain this strange guest. She guides Severus into the kitchen, and the man lets himself be led. It’s like he isn’t really here, staring ahead. He sits down and accepts a mug of tea, but doesn’t even touch it.  
“What happened, Severus? Who died?”  
The moment he looks at her, the way his eyes are filled with pain and regret, she knows the answer, but still, she hopes he will say someone else.  
“I’m sorry, Tuney. Lilly…she is dead. And it’s all my fault.”  
He breaks down, sobbing, and Petunia automatically leans forward, rubbing his back in a comforting manner. Her own pain isn’t sharp or unbearable. It’s there, but it’s numb. She learned to hate Lilly, then to forget her, to exclude her completely from her life and her thoughts that her not existing anymore doesn’t feel all that different. She feels horrible that she can’t cry.  
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”  
He keeps repeating this sentence over and over, and she knows that he isn’t saying it to her.  
“How…did she die?”  
She can only hear a few words between the sobs, like:  
“Spell…prophecy…Dark Lord…James.”  
And again and again the phrase:  
“My fault.”  
Of course, Lilly had to die from that dammed magic of hers. She doesn’t say that, just keeps running her fingers through Severus’s hair, trying to soothe him.  
“It couldn’t have been your doing. You loved her, you wouldn’t have caused her death knowingly.”  
That seems to calm him down somewhat because the sobs get quieter. That’s when Petunia notices that he is shivering.  
“You are freezing and soaking wet.”  
“I’m sorry, I’ll take care of it.”  
Severus starts rummaging in his robe, pulling out a wand. Petunia’s face hardens.  
“None of that in my house. But I can draw you a bath.”  
She adds in a softer voice. She leads him upstairs and starts filling the tub with hot water. She adds camomile oil, to help him calm down. Severus is standing in the corner of the room, water slowly dripping from his clothes to the floor. His eyes don’t look so dead anymore when he looks around.  
“Do you live here by yourself?”  
“No, I’m married. He is in London now. No children yet, but I hope I’ll soon conceive.”  
“Lilly had one. A boy.”  
His voice cracks, and Petunia, not wanting to see him cry again, steps closer.  
“Let me help you with that.”  
She helps him take off the robes. Severus clumsily tries to help her, but that just elongates the task. Finally, he is standing here, only in boxers. Petunia’s face is tomato red.  
“I’ll go, find some clothes for you. Just shout if you need anything.  
She finds an old shirt of Vernon’s. It’ll be still too big for Severus, but that’s the best she got. She feels guilty about giving her husband's clothes to her old crush.   
Petunia sits down on the couch with a sigh, clutching Vernon’s shirt in her hand. What is she doing? She had sworn that she would keep magic out of her life, and now a wizard is taking bath in her bathroom. Not just any wizard, but Severus Snape. She remembers clearly the day they met. They were playing in the park, and Lilly was doing that thing again. Then she disappeared and soon after came back dragging a boy behind her, whose face was dirty and clothes are mismatched.   
“This is Severus, he can do things as I do. He says I’m a witch. Show her, Sev!”  
Magic made her afraid back then. But she wasn’t afraid of him. She loved playing with him, even if she knew he was only there to play with Lilly. After Lilly went off to the freak school, she was so alone. She looked forward to summers, to see those messy black locks again. And when she got older the feelings of admiration and friendship changed within her to a new, strange feeling. She would blush when he spoke to her, and thousands of butterflies fluttered in her stomach when he smiled. Then one summer he didn’t come, and Lilly wouldn’t explain why. Still, she often thought of him, wondering what happened to him. And now here he is, in her house.  
Petunia stands up, shaking her head to get rid of those dangerous thoughts. She remembers that she didn’t give a towel to Severus so she quickly finds one and knocks on the bathroom door.  
“I brought a towel. Can I give it to you or should I just leave it outside?”  
No answer. Petunia knocks again.  
“Severus?”  
She is getting afraid. What if he…did something to himself? So she opens the door. Severus is in the tub, his eyes closed. Petunia shakes his shoulder. That wakes him up, but he slips and sinks in the water. He automatically grabs for the first thing he can reach: Petunia’s arm, and pulls himself up. He splashes water all over her in the process. When he calms down and isn’t gasping for air he just stares at her.  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were sleeping. I just brought a towel and you weren’t answering, so I got worried. I just..here.”  
She holds out the towel. Severus stands up and steps out of the bath. Petunia should around, but she can’t seem to move or even avert her eyes. His wet hair, falling on his shoulders, those black eyes, and long fingers. He is thin, unhealthily so, but it just makes his size seem even bigger. And God is he big. Severus wraps the towel around his waist and steps closer to her, running a finger along the collar of her blouse.  
“I made you wet.”  
Her heartbeat quickens, and her perked up nipples are visible under the fabric of her blouse. His pupils dilate as he steps even closer. She doesn’t know which one of them initiates the kiss. His lips are chapped and all over hers like she is the last drop of water in a desert. She lets his tongue explore her mouth. Severus presses her against the wall and lets the towel drop on the ground. She is still fully dressed. Severus has his hand under her skirt, grabbing her tight. His hands are cold, or maybe her body is too hot. She starts unbuttoning her blouse, but he stops her.  
“Let me.”  
He works slowly, and after each button, he caresses the exposed skin. Petunia moans when he arrives to the last button and he licks his lips because she isn't wearing a bra. She can feel his hardness against her leg, so she moves forward, rubbing her leg against his cock. Severus gets rid of her skirt much faster than the blouse, and now both of them are naked, rutting against each other.  
"The bedroom.." She manages to get out the words. "That way."   
She doesn't know how they manage to get to the bed, but she is lying there, with Severus on top of her. He starts with kissing her neck and moves downwards. He takes his time with her breasts, nibbling and licking her nipples and Petunia feels like she could come just from this.   
“I need you, Sev.”  
He kneels between her legs, spreading them wide. He kisses her clit, just once before slipping a finger inside of her.  
“You are so wet.”  
Petunia isn’t sure if she could get a coherent sentence out now, so she lets her moans speak instead. He is three fingers deep when she feels like she can’t bear this sweet torture anymore.  
“Do it. I’m ready.”  
“Tuney…”  
He is achingly hard, and when he slips inside her he lets out a relieved moan. He tries to go slow at first, but they are both too gone for that. He is like an animal, rutting, and moaning, and Petunia loves every moment of it, loves how hungry he is for her, how her body makes him lose control. He doesn’t last long, and he comes with a scream. She isn’t satisfied yet, so she guides his hand to her pussy, wet with his come. It only takes a few strokes, and she arches her back and comes. Then they just lay there panting.   
She is the first one to get up. She goes to the bathroom and stares at her reflection in the mirror. She sees her naked body as desirable, even beautiful, something she hasn’t felt for a long time. With Vernon sex is nothing like this. Vernon. Guilt washes over her. She tries to get rid of the nasty little thoughts, blaming her, but she can’t. She wets a towel a cleans the come off her tights. She brings one to Severus, too, but he is already asleep. She climbs under the covers and snuggles up to him. She can say that he is muttering something over and over in his sleep, so she leans closer to hear it.  
“Lilly, Lilly, Lilly…”  
  
He is gone the next morning, without a trace. Instead of him, she finds a baby with a note in front of the house.  
  
She is starring at the two blue lines, sitting on the toilet. She tells Vernon a week after. He is overjoyed, drinks too much to celebrate, and brings her a big bouquet of red roses the next day. She doesn’t like roses.  
  
She moves Harry’s crib in the cupboard under the stairs that day and promises herself that she will never again have anything to do with those freaks. 


End file.
